Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Sometimes, it gets to me....

Most of the time, I take all the "electronics" associated with the care of diabetes in stride. I'm a gadget geek and love all the technology that goes with my day to day routine. I'm grateful for it. But sometimes I just want to be gadget free. I want to fly under the radar and not have any visible sign of the fact that I am T1d. Especially when I'm out with my sons on a 'family day'.

This past weekend, on a spur of the moment, we decided to go to Great Adventures in NJ (a two hour trip from my house). I had the day off from work and we all needed some time just to be together and have fun. Without much thought, I grabbed a small backpack for all my gadgets...Dexcom receiver (my bgs have been running very low and I didn't want to risk a crazy low at the park), cellphone, glucose meter, backup insulin, extra infusion set and reservoir (just in case anything gets pulled out during a ride), glucose tabs and my wallet with emergency info inside. I wanted to go without calling attention to myself but I was going prepared! I wanted my diabetes to be "behind the scene" so the day would be about my boys and I having a great time.

We arrived at Great Adventures and the first thing I encounter was the full body scanners that are now at the point of entrance. Not knowing what the scanners would do to any of the electronics, I opted to find someone who would do a physical search instead. There were no signs of any kind to accomplish this. I ended up going to a security guard and requested a manual search. He was very gracious (he had a pacemaker and couldn't go through the body scanners either so he understood) and he did as I requested and allowed me to go through. Ok, that was the first incident...diabetes just doesn't want to be "behind the scene".
They decided the first ride would be El Toro (bad ass roller coaster) on the other side of the park. We go straight there and at the entrance to the ride, I'm informed that I couldn't bring the backpack past that point. Oh NO! It was suggested that I leave my bag there until after the ride! Are they kidding me???? I explained to the girl that I had medical electronics and insulin in the backpack and I couldn't risk having the bag stolen. She told me I would need to get a "Medical" sticker for my bag, at the Customer Service booth....at the entrance to the park. I told the boys to go on without me, I would go get the Medical sticker and meet them back at the ride.

I went to the Customer Service booth and explain the situation to the young man behind the counter and he gave me the Medical sticker, explaining that it had to be attached where it would be in plain sight. Ugg, so now I have this white Medical sticker attached to the handle of the backpack for all to see....advertising my need for a Medical backpack! So not "behind the scene"!!!!

I went all the way back to the other side of the park and find the boys, who now want to go on Rolling Thunder (another bad ass roller coaster). We get to the entrance of the ride, the guy at the entrance tells me to leave my bag, I show him the sticker, he says "Oh, Medical sticker, you can bring your bag to the ride", we go through the line maze and get up to the platform where you wait in line for the next coaster. The gate opens up, we get in the coaster, the safety gate comes down on my legs and locks me in,  the two operators then inform me I can't bring my backpack on the ride, I need to leave it on the platform until I come back. I show them the Medical sticker and they told me I still had to leave my backpack on the platform until the ride is over. Meanwhile, three coasters would arrive at that destination before mine would make it back...three rides full of people would pass by the backpack before I would be able to grab it.

They informed me that they are NOT responsible for anything being stolen. I told them I couldn't risk the bag being taken, I asked if I could put the bag by the ride operator so they could keep an eye on it. They said that "they can not be responsible". I asked them to just put the backpack on the platform for me (I was already locked into the seat and couldn't reach the platform) and they both said "we can't take responsibility for the bag".  At this point everyone's eyes were on me wondering why the ride was being held up so long....and all the people waiting for the next coaster were silent and watching this play out. The staff stood there doing nothing, not realizing I was locked in, waiting for me to get up and put the backpack aside. I couldn't help it, I started crying because I saw the look on both of my son's faces and they were furious that I was being singled out so harshly. I was so embarrassed and upset. Sooooo Not Behind the Scene!

My son couldn't take it anymore and yelled for them to release the safety gate so he could get out, told me to give him the backpack, climbed out of the coaster, walked up to the ride operator, put the backpack right in front of him and told him to watch the bag, climbed back in and told them to get away from me. Damage was done, I cried through the ride and got off deciding that the thrill of the ride wasn't worth the process of getting on it. It was only the second ride of the day and I had already felt the disappointment.


The rest of the day went a little better, most of the staff were not as rude and tried to help as much as possible, I gave up and left my backpack on each of the platforms and just crossed my fingers it would be there when I returned. Most ride operators were kind enough to keep the bag by them and I got used to the white Medical sticker hanging out on the strap, poking at me all day. We managed to have fun, even be silly for a while.

 I'm amazed that the Dexcom transmitter stayed intact, even though most of the roller coaster's safety gates rested right on it, or right beneath it. My infusion site didn't pull out no matter how much my body got tossed around and I only had one bad low, which was promptly corrected by an ice cream cone!

Having to deal with all that we have to do on a daily basis is hard enough, but I can deal with it. I just wanted one day off of the diabetes merry-go-round and be with my boys at an amusement park. Not being able to do that really gets to me......sometimes.



Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Wordless Wednesday......Yum!

Peanuts....chocolate...10g protein.....14g carbs.....yum!

Monday, July 23, 2012

Sometimes just the smallest change......

I've made some big changes. I've been continuing my quest for better "body" management. Better diabetes control and less fat around the middle! Seems they are very inter-twined so improving one will benefit the other. This has been so true. I have been reducing my basal rates almost weekly, my numbers have been so steady and I have gone down a size smaller. I am lifting almost double the weight as when I first started at the gym and (to my surprise) managed to trim the bushes in front of my house without losing the use of my arms for a few days!!

Another change I made was getting back on my bike. I had always been an avid bike rider but I had become bored with just riding around the neighborhood. So I had a hitch and bike rack installed giving me the ability to find further away trails and groups to ride with. I don't mind riding alone but I have a second bike that I keep in good condition hoping that I could convince a friend to ride along but according to my friends, they are afraid to go with me because I'm usually gone for hours...they are afraid.

I woke up Saturday morning to a beautiful sunny day. The kind of day that you have to be outside. All I wanted to do was get on my bike and ride. I started to call around for friends that I could coerce into going for a ride. I had no takers. The usual comments were....I haven't been on a bike in years....I'm not in shape.....I would slow you down.....I just want to go for a little ride first.....it's too hot (it was a beautiful 83 degrees)..... really!. Seems no one else is on the better body management quest (they don't have T1 breathing down their neck as a motivator).  But I really didn't want to ride alone, I wanted to share the ride with someone.

Then I made one "small" change.....I decided the best company to take along for the ride was my little 3 1/2 pound chihuahua, Nugget, who loved every minute of our two hour ride!

 

He is the absolute best co-rider and didn't complain once! I enjoyed the ride so much so that I think this is my new go-to for my weekly cardio fix!! Change is great. The afternoon ride with your little buddy is the greatest motivator!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Attitude......

“It is our attitude at the beginning of a difficult task which, more than anything else, will affect its successful outcome.”   William James

I came across this quote today and it struck me. In life, it's not the obstacles that can stop you in your tracks but it's the way you think it will affect you. If you think it's too hard, then it will be too hard. If you think it's impossible, then it will be impossible. Believe me, I am so guilty of this way of thinking...and I have seen how it has set me up for failure.

With all the changes that I have made recently, I've changed the way I "think" the most. I no longer allow the negative thoughts to have their space. They don't belong anymore. I start my thoughts with "When I.." instead of "If I....." and I look to the immediate future instead of down the road so my goals are more obtainable.

When working out, I look to lift more weight today or do more reps today, instead of reducing my BMI by one point. Instead of looking for the perfect A1C, I look for more controlled levels today...this day. I am determined to completely change the way I handle my diabetes because it will change the way I handle my life. And my life will change. 


Within the past two weeks, I've lost five pounds, I bought a bike rack for my car, I've clocked four hours a week lifting weights, danced a night away, I've smiled more and my Dexcom 24hr graph has never looked so peak-less! I am determined.......






Wednesday, July 11, 2012

It takes such dedication....

Over the past few weeks I have re-dedicated myself to getting back in shape with the hope that it would help steady the constant increase in the insulin I need daily. I was so disheartened when at my last endo appointment they decided to double my basal rate to be more aggressive in bringing my glucose numbers down. A progression that seems to be going in the wrong direction!

I know that all the increasing has also lead to an increase in my weight. No change of activity or diet...but my weight keeps climbing up every time my basal rate increases. This last time I swore I would not let it happen. Then came the additional five pounds...almost overnight. It's a vicious cycle, and one that I am determined to get out of!

After having been so inspired by Scully of http://canadiandgal.blogspot.com/ who is a Type 1 Diabetic without limits, who never backs down from a challenge......or a Tremblant Half Ironman Relay....I have learned to say "how" instead of "if". How will I do this instead of If I do this. It changes your mindset.

I jumped on the 20 mile ride for the  JDRF Tour de Cure this past June without training or having prepared. I just did it. I threw my bike in the back of my car and off I went. Outside of a cramp in my calf at mile 15 (now I understand the importance of hydration before riding 20 miles) I was able to complete the task....and amazed myself that I could!


I had a hitch and bike rack installed on my car so I can now find other opportunities to ride, which is my passion. I also signed up for the Soldier Ride (to raise funds for wounded veterans) which is a 25 mile. 

I joined the Synergy gym and now meet with a trainer twice a week for two hours of what he refers to as "torture". I have changed my diet to reduce my carbs to only vegetables and fruit. 

I always wear my Dexcom now and check my glucose at least five times a day. I am giving it everything I've got. I am determined to get the control back and I am the most dedicated I've ever been. I am actually excited for the next endo appointment so I can see a much lower...hard earned....improved A1C. Then.....I'll find another ride.......