One of the most important discoveries that I have made since being diagnosed with T1 is the DOC (diabetics online community). An amazing group of blogging diabetics that share the most intimate details of their day to day journeys with being T1.
I get so frustrated with the common thought that T1 and T2 people deal with the same disease. They do not! Although I "get" that being T2 is hard (especially because of the strict diet and additional medications) but to compare it to living with T1 is ridiculous!! Unless you are T1, you can not make that comparison. Hence why I get so frustrated with the conversations of those who think they are "helping". They don't get it!!
I have only a handful of people in my life that actually get it, although it's through a "window" (meaning that they are looking through the window of my life.....not actually living it). They can ask "what are your numbers" and we both know that they are asking how has the control been like. A simple question but it hits right at the heart of what it means to be supportive. They know it's a day to day existence within the numbers.
Others who pretend to be supportive will call up with enthusiasm and say something like "I just heard that all you have to do is take vitamin D daily and it will cure your diabetes" or "just stop eating sugary food and you will not need insulin". Completely uninformed and ridiculous statements, but what it really means is that they think the disease I struggle with daily has to be my "fault" because a trivial change in my habits would cure me. They didn't do the homework. They didn't make a single effort to find out what I deal with nor did they take into account that if taking a vitamin or not eating sugar would spare me the daily torture I endure, that I would choose to continue to disregard the cure and choose to live this life.......it's more of an insult than support. It makes living with this disease worse.......it shows you who really cares and who are just trying to look like they care.
Fortunately my son's "get it", although I try my best to keep as much of the frustration away from them. My girlfriends are very supportive. I have five that actually know what to do in the event I am unable to talk...they can talk for me. I count myself as very lucky and blessed for their support!
As for the majority of my siblings and my mother.....they haven't got a clue. Not one. They never ask nor do they even know anything that could be informative in the event I had a major situation happen in their presence. I can't comprehend that. It's ok for them to not even have the slightest inkling of what I would need them to do in an emergency, but heaven forbid I don't call them or seem interested in their "feelings" and "insecurities". I'm only the "self absorbed" person who doesn't revolve my life around keeping their egos stroked and revel in their "martyrdom". I'm too busy trying to stay alive. Sorry............
So the DOC fills this void. When I need support, I go and read their blogs and get the sense of community and understanding. I see that we all live the same complicated life, the same frustrations, the same emotional roller coaster. The same. No stupid questions. No ridiculous notions of a simple cure. Just the reality of living this life and being able to HATE it without being judged as having a "pity party". Ah, just what I needed...thanks DOC!!